oktopotamus

this place is no longer a home.

i’m seriously starting to hate san diego. i’m not happy and i’m constantly on the verge of tears, i even have a roll of toilet paper on my nightstand dedicated to wiping my tears. my parents should receive gold medals for their outstanding ability to make me feel like shit and ruin my day. they give me shit for not having a job. i’ve applied to thirty places- who wants to hire someone with no experience and would only be able to work for part of the summer? i’ve been cut off from all forms of allowance and i have no money, yet they expect me to be able to pay for anything and everything. i can’t go out ‘cause everything requires money or gas, which equals money. tonight i asked my dad for ten dollars to be able to go to the movies and get lunch with my friend. he made me feel like shit for even thinking of asking for money. i want to go to monterey for the weekend to see my friends who’ll be going to college away from mb. i also want to see my boyfriend for the first time in almost two months. my dad says yes though you know he doesn’t want to. i get crap on a daily basis for it and the only way i’ll be able to pay for the trip is either with my meager savings or if i do a mural. it’s so frustrating being in a place where i feel caged. i’m alone and miserable. i barely even get to talk with my boyfriend anymore.there are two people here that i would call friends, the only two people to keep in contact with me when i left for my first year of college. one is gone the whole summer and it’s not right to expect the other to constantly spend time with me. fuck. i just want this summer to be over.